this is the end

It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. It always is when it's a rainy, dark day: dreary and depressing. I had to go to Womens Studies today to turn in my essay and complete a course evaluation. Government, we had a review session of sorts which was somewhat helpful. After class I went back to my room and watched tv, just lying in bed lazily. There's nothing better. Surprisingly I am not stressed out at all about my finals. I really only have two exams and they are both monday so I will be able to get them over with. Then I can go home anytime I want. My friends want me to stay all week... I can't imagine staying that long but I probably will stay until wednesday. Then I will have time to sell my books and maybe buy christmas presents. I'm pretty excited to go home. I haven't been able to play my guitar that much lately so I'm really looking forward to doing that. Honestly all I really want to do is be able to read whatever I want. I am really going to miss my friends here. I think that we really have a strong connection. I also have to say that I am really excited to see my mom, like beyond belief. Overall I'm pretty happy with my semester and the amount of work that I put into my classes so I am content with whatever may happen. This blog assignment was actually good for me. At home, I always tried to write down my thoughts as often as possible but I doubt that I would have found the time without some motivation. Looking over the entries I can say that I have no complaints, I would never change a thing.

dry your eyes on the wind

All I know is something like a bird within her sang, All I know she sang a little while and then flew on, Tell me all that you know, I'll show you snow and rain.If you hear that same sweet song again, will you know why? Anyone who sings a tune so sweet is passin' by, Laugh in the sunshine, sing, cry in the dark, fly through the night.Don't cry now, don't you cry, don't you cry anymore. Sleep in the stars, don't you cry, dry your eyes on the wind. All I know is something like a bird within her sang, All I know she sang a little while and then flew off, Tell me all that you know, I'll show you snow and rain.
Grateful Dead. I was writing an essay for women's studies and listening to music to guide my mind when that song came on. I don't even think that I was listening to it that much until the line: dry your eyes on the wind. Pretty magical line. I just wonder where artists come up with words like that, pure poetry. A lot of their songs are like that: Box of rain, Eyes of the world... I don't even know what those words mean but I like them. There's just something about the words that sends this amazing picture to the listener. or maybe it's just me. It would be more than likely that the band was high when they wrote those words but it doesn't make the song any less great. The song is something like 10 minutes long, I've listened to it twice in a row now, jsut listening to the jam style. You know, no two live performances by them were ever identical. That's innovation.

far past the frozen leaves

cast your dancing spell my way, i promise to go under it. then take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind, down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves, the haunted frightened trees, out to the windy beach, far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow. Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky, with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, with all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves. Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my desk right now contemplating those magical lines. They hang on the wall by my computer. Not a day goes by that I do not read them. These are lines written by the poetic Bob Dylan. There is just something about these lines that captures my very soul, as if he read my mind from thirty years before my birth. Dylan's lyrics are the best parts of his work. Yes, his voice is unusual and calming, his guitar and harmonica skills are great, and he is nothing short of an icon but it is his words which are so inspiring.

two points for honesty

Good weekend. I guess it was really the last fun weekend before finals because I don't really know what will happen next weekend. It's pretty good. I only have two finals and they are both on Monday... two hours apart. For the rest of my classes, I have essays for my finals. I finished the rough draft for english today so I can focus on my Women's Studies essay now. I'm really not even sure how to write that essay but I guess I will just worry about that tomorrow. So I spent the whole day working on the english essay and now I am pretty exhausted. I hardly ever left my room but it was pretty much a cycle of people coming in to visit so the work process was a little slow. Friday I went to Santa Fe with a lot of friends which was a lot of fun. Saturday I went to Turtle. My two best friends here and I talked about life for a long time, just further bonding for us. I am really happy that I have them. I spend a lot of time with them, always going to the diner and hanging out and going out. My cousin's wedding was this weekend and I was a little mad that I didn't get to go but in a way I'm glad that I stayed here because I really did have a good weekend. I got a good amount of work done but still had a lot of fun. Right now I'm sitting in my room watching Harry Potter with my friends and just relaxing. This week could be rough with studying and reading and writing and everything.

sunset soon forgotten

>So I'm currently stranded in the lounge because my roommate's boyfriend is sleeping in my room. Lovely. But at least it gives me a chance to get some work done. I wrote a narrative/introduction for my argument paper. I'm not sure if it's too exaggerated or extreme though. Could it be considered a fallacy? Not sure. But I think that it's pretty good so I'm just going to roll with it. As soon as the heavy metal doors of the school slammed with a thud behind me, I could sense that something was different, something was missing. The last time that I was in this middle school, the halls were alive with excited children carrying instruments, humming or singing a new piece of music, hurrying to their next class. Bright posters and artwork covered the walls, advertising the upcoming band concert and the greatly anticipated spring musical of The Wizard of Oz. Faint echoes of classical pieces drifted from the band and chorus rooms and diffused a comforting sound throughout the halls. Peaking through open classroom doors, I saw teachers actively engaging students in innovative ways for the sole purpose of granting knowledge. Now, it was impossible to ignore that something had definitely changed. The excited children were replaced with instrument-less, robot-like beings, silently, methodically marching to class. Except for a few posters for a math club or debate team, the walls were bare. No music filled the halls and the hearts of the inhabitants. Where there once was creativity and laughter in the classrooms, there now is the drone of the youth obediently filling in the circles of a standardized test.

Fire and Rain

Interesting day I guess. My registration was today, 9:30. I actually got everything that I wanted! The whole thing was causing an obnoxious amount of stress for me all week and it feels so good now that it's over and I'm set. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have class at 10 but I'm done by 2, 1 and 12 respectively, which is pretty early. Then tuesday I don't have class until 12:30 and I'm done by 4:15. Thursday I start at 11 and I'm done at 4:15...still really good. I like having the option to sleep in or sleep after classes. Also, I get the most work done in the afternoon so this should work out. It took a lot of soul searching and consulting others for me to decide on what classes to take. I am taking an Anthropology class, I think that I will really like it. For my government major, I'm taking GVPT241 which is more of a political philosophy class so it's right up my alley, also I have to take micro-economics which will probably will be a little hard. I'm taking a nonlab science and I decided on Causes and Implications of Global Change because it combines all of the sciences and adds more social issues and politics. I decided to take Sociology because a few of my friends are taking it and we are going to be in the same section. Of course I'm also interested in the subject. I think that's it. It's 16 credits which is a step up from the fall but I'm sure that I can handle it. It's also going to be more lecturing and standardized tests where as my fall was smaller classes and a lot of writing. I'm sure that I can handle it and I'm actually pretty excited to start new classes.

new beginning

The nex two weeks are going to be awful. Have I said that already? Oh, well it's worth saying again. I really want to d omy best in every class but it's so hard to manage my time efficiently so that I can focus on each subject pretty much equally. The Thanksgiving break gave me a good amount of energy to allow me to figure out some sort of a plan. I really just need to spend the majority of my day doing work. It's just two weeks after all. So, after english today I went to the library to do some work which is where I am right now. I finished my government essay which is a good thing. It's exactly 8 pages and it's supposed to be 8-10 but I think that I said everything that needed to be said. I have to analyze Vogue magazine for Women's Studies which is actually a pretty cool project. Unfortunately, it's a group project and we do not really have a leader, at all. So we are a little bit disorganized but hopefully we will be able to pull it together soon. Another girl and I took the part where we have to explain the story of the magazine, not too bad, but it's a 372 page magazine. So we decided to split the magazine in half so that we each only had to focus on half of it. Unfortunately I took the more detailed, story filled half while she has most of the advertisements... but what can you do. Hopefully I will get more credit for doing more of the work. It doesn't really matter though. I just really want a good grade. I guess I have never really been that great with working with others but I have been working on it and I know that this project will turn out alright.